Meet the Team
Harley: CEO of Hydration and Human Behavior
Harley is a striking Bengal mix with the voice of a drama king and the judgmental gaze of a seasoned life coach. Known for his theatrical vocalization demanding the bathroom faucet be turned on (yet never drinking from it), Harley prefers hydration by ritual, not convenience—his fancy cat fountain remains untouched, of course.
This feline executive knows exactly what he wants, and who needs to do it. If the spare human dares to dish up dinner inappropriately, Harley stages a hunger strike. When it's TV time, you’ll find him cozied up next to his chosen non-staff human, attentively watching (or pretending to, for the cuddles). Meanwhile, the spare human gets the occasional soul-piercing stare of disapproval for breathing too loudly.
Harley doesn’t just live in the house. He runs it.
Max: Chief Sibling Provocation Officer, and self-appointed Assistant to the Snack Manager
Max is a Bengal mix with the heart of a rebel and an appreciation of all things chewable. Allegedly Harley’s brother (though both deny it), Max believes sibling rivalry is a full-contact sport—and practices regularly.
When not staging WWE-style brawls across the furniture, Max enjoys eating assorted food and non-food items. No bed, pillow, blanket, or plate of food is safe.
Max is the lovable destroyer of indestructible dog toys to Harley’s refined drama. Together, they make exactly one stable household… if you squint hard and ignore the screaming.
He’s chaos with whiskers, and life would be much too quiet without him.
The Bathroom Faucet: High Priest of Ritual Hydration and Silent Co-Founder of the Wellness Initiative
In a home where fountains are snubbed and bowls are ignored, the bathroom faucet reigns supreme. Silent unless summoned (loudly), this noble fixture plays an essential role in staff hydration, per direct orders from the CEO.
Called upon with great yowling fanfare, the faucet must be turned on to exactly the right trickle. Too much? Offensive. Too little? Disrespectful. When the chosen human performs the ritual correctly, Harley may partake … or simply gaze into the water's soul, then walk away satisfied.
The faucet asks for nothing, gives everything, and stands in quiet solidarity with the spare human, who also knows what it’s like to be judged without cause.
The Spare Human: Unpaid Intern, Treat Distribution Division
The Spare Human lives a life of near-greatness: close enough to feed the cats, yet never truly acknowledged. Trusted to scoop litter and monitor food allocation, and assorted other duties as assigned by the CEO in the absence of the primary non-staff human (even then, usually only under protest).
Despite management’s typical (c)attitude, the Spare Human remains loyal. Max offers chaos-cuddles, and Harley... well, Harley offers judgment. And sometimes side-eye. But that’s basically affection, right?
The Spare Human understands their place in the hierarchy and performs their duties with quiet dignity, occasional snacks, and a faint hope that one day the CEO might actually blink at them slowly.
